1 post tagged “week”
In a few months my eldest brother is getting married. The whole thing is a bit of a joke because he's been with his fiancee for over ten years and they have two children (aged 8 and 5). It was blatantly an event orchestrated by her as I can't imagine he would have ever decided that marriage was a good idea (do men ever think that?).
He proposed to her on Valentines Day last year (pass me the bucket...) and it's been all they've talked about ever since. They think it's going to cost them my parent around £10,000 for one day to which they have invited 200 guests to a hotel near my hometown.
Yesterday, I had to attend a dress fitting to fulfill my role as bridesmaid. It was very kind of her to ask me and a lovely gesture as her own sister wasn't even included, but it's all become a bit of a farce. I tried on the frock, which is surprisingly classy, and was pinned from all angles to ensure it fits me perfectly for the big day. My eldest nephew was present at the fitting (I mean, where else do wannabe premiership footballers wanna hang out on a Saturday morning than a bridal shop?) and offered his priceless opinion to me, "I think the bow looks better on the back". It actually did, but quite what a young boy knows about wedding taste I'm not sure (he's not the maybe-gay nephew).
My Mother rushed in to share her opinion which usually involves criticising the colour palette, "Black seems like an unusual colour for August," but all agreed that the dress fit me fine and therefore I would no longer have to hang out in the bejewelled boutique. My Mother clearly wants a bigger part in the wedding planning. The bride doesn't have a Mother and mine is nervous to step in to the Mother of the bride shoes, but there are expectations.
The bride asks my Mother, "Are you going to wear a hat?" She shrugs off the question, "I don't think thats necessary to a wedding in a hotel, do you?" The bride looks slightly put out. "Lots of people get married in hotels you know, it's not that unusual. Laura, don't lots of celebs have civil services? Lots of them don't get married in churches do they?" I smile politely and avoid getting involved in any wedding speak. My Mother is not religious and is not interested in the location of the wedding at all, I think she just doesn't like hats. What's more, she has finally got her outfit together and this has honestly taken her a year. No. Joke.
"Oh I just wish his brother had more of a role in the wedding," Mother muses trying to move the conversation on. Heres a bit of background to the situation; my brothers are not at all close. They barely speak to each other except at Christmas when they might mutter, "Do you want a beer?" or, "What did you do last night?". They are only two years apart and have very different interests, lifestyles and live 100 miles apart.
Bride dismisses the complaint and the conversation is soon forgotten when my nephew starts demanding a sausage roll and/or ice-cream. Later on as we drive home Mother returns to her complaint. There is no warning, I think we're talking about the weather or lunch plans when she suddenly announces, "Don't you think it's bad that he hasn't given his brother a role in the wedding? He could just be an usher or something, SOMETHING." I shake my head, "Well, they've never been close..." "Yes but they're brothers, doesn't that mean anything anymore?"
I want to tell her that blood relations is just an unfortunate act of fate and not something which necessarily means you have to like someone, but my opinion is not valid in this conversation. She really just wants to speak at me. "I mean, we're the only family who's siblings don't get on." I don't know if she's speaking about all the families in the UK, the world, our extended family, or what but that's quite a statement. I decide she means family, "Well, H and A (cousins) don't get on, they practically hate each other," I offer trying to diffuse. Wrong answer. "Next door get on so well, so do L's boys (more cousins), and anyway it's traditional. Brothers are always best men or at least ushers".
I think of all the negative points about both of those families and consider listing them as a pros and cons list, but we've arrived at our destination and I can at last escape to reading The Guardian magazine... I cannot wait for this wedding palava to be over with.
